BLOG-tober #2: wedding planning pro’s and con’s.

Planning a wedding is thought of by many as a stressful and expensive ordeal. The stereotypical wedding planning experience involves navigating family-members strong (and perhaps unsolicited) opinions, spending way too much money on every single wedding detail, figuring out a menu that is agreeable to everyone’s dietary restrictions, graciously dealing with last minute RSVP changes, and perfecting that damn seating chart.

Are these wedding-planning stereotypes true, though? As someone who is almost at the finish-line of planning a wedding, this topic is near and dear to my heart. Taking into account my (purely anecdotal) experiences, these are my opinions on wedding planning:

THE PROS:

  1. This day is purely YOURS (and your partners). As such, you get to create a ceremony and reception that is reflective of your unique personality, and your love for your partner. This is a rare – maybe even once in a lifetime – opportunity!
  2. Some aspects of the planning process are fun! Personally, I loved designing invitations, doing menu and cake tastings, and going wedding dress shopping. Different people like different things, but if you and your partner are on the same page about wedding planning, parts of the process should be quite enjoyable. And the stressful parts of wedding planning can be a bonding experience for you and your partner!
  3. You might reconnect with old friends or extended family during the planning process. This depends on how many people you will invite to your wedding, and how close your family is…but my experience was that family-members I hadn’t talked to in years contacted me to congratulate me on my engagement, and offered to help in any way during the wedding planning.

THE CONS:

  1. Yes, some people really will find a way to make YOUR wedding about themselves. Chances are, though, the people who bring more stress than support to your wedding planning process are probably not doing so intentionally. This doesn’t detract from the annoyingness – but keeping this in mind helped me not to take this difficult behavior personally.
  2. It is expensive. There is no getting around this. The average cost of a wedding in the United States is about $35,000, and depending on where you live, the average cost may be even higher than that. You can work around budget constraints by doing things yourself (DIY-ing it), but what you save in money you will pay for in time. My partner and I recently spent a full day designing, printing, and assembling handmade table-number signs; we saved a bit of money by doing this ourselves, but it was a lot of extra work. The more you DIY, the more money you potentially save, but the harder you will need to work and plan.
  3. There is a lot to keep track of. No matter how many budgets, spreadsheets, and to-do lists you make – the wedding planning process is still bound to be overwhelming at times. Having a master checklist can help with this, as can delegating tasks to people that you trust. Even still, there will be moments where it feels like you are drowning in wedding planning tasks. This is just part of the wedding planning process.

So is it worth it?

That really depends on how you weight each item in the pro/con list (side note: I firmly believe that pro/con lists must be weighted according to the values of the person making the list – more on that another time, perhaps). For my partner and me, the pro’s outweighed the con’s. But we were engaged for about seven months before we even started planning, because we weren’t immediately ready. I have noticed (anecdotally) that long engagements are becoming increasingly common. I wonder if this is to prepare logistically, financially, and emotionally for the stress of planning a modern wedding.

Have you planned a wedding? Do you know anyone who has? If so, what were your experiences like?

2 thoughts on “BLOG-tober #2: wedding planning pro’s and con’s.

  1. My son and his fiancee are in the midst of planning for a June wedding, and with the number of friends and family members they have, they decided it would be less costly and less hassle to do a destination wedding in Costa Rica at an all-inclusive resort. I hope it goes as easily and smoothly as the wedding planner assures them it will, and luckily both sides of the soon-to-be joined family seem to be proceeding with very little drama. Still, I wish the bar hadn’t been raised so high on weddings in the past couple of decades. It’s a whole lot of pressure and expense, and we’ve all been to weddings where the main point — celebrating the union of that particular couple — somehow fades into the background in an over-decorated, over-luxurious, over-hyped, over-planned atmosphere. I’m sure yours will NOT fall into that category. Mazel tov!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jan! I completely agree with you – the bar for weddings has been raised SO high, and couples feel like they have to do SO much unnecessary work (or buy unnecessary things) in order to have a “normal” wedding. I hope your son has a wonderful wedding next June! Costa Rica will be a beautiful destination 🙂

      Like

Leave a Reply to Jan M. Flynn Cancel reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s